The news that shoots from distance

Jokić-Hayes scuffle in the preseason: Dimitri would at least have played a jingle

In the NBA preseason, Denver beat Utah 117-106. After Jaxson Hayes shoved him, Nikola Jokić pushed back and was given a technical foul; the incident was broken up quickly.

Dimitri at the mic in a community hall introduces two calm players, each in his own half of the court, under two spotlights.

Denver beat Utah, a hundred and seventeen to a hundred and six, in the preseason. According to Eurohoops, it was very physical, Nikola Jokić was challenged several times, then Jaxson Hayes shoved him, Jokić shoved back, technical foul on Jokić, and they broke the whole thing up very quickly.

Very quickly. You know what I hear in “very quickly”? Thirty seconds wasted. Because if that happens in my hall, on a Saturday at half past eight, what do I do? No comment on anybody, ever. I announce. The way you announce a game.

“Mesdames et messieurs, dames en heren. On the Denver side, three-time MVP, sixteen minutes tonight, six points, five assists… [two-second pause] … Nikola Jokić! On the Utah side, fourteen minutes, seven points, one block… [pause] … Jaxson Hayes. [jingle] And now, gentlemen, you each go back to your own half, and we thank the referee, sir. Make some noise for the separation.”

That’s a moment. Both of them announced, nobody is wrong at the mic, the hall applauds the fact that everyone has calmed down. Over there, the report fits in three words: quickly broken up. That’s all. Quickly broken up is not a moment.

“A technical foul isn’t announced, Dimitri. It’s written down. It’s on the sheet.”

Martine · the scorer's table, fictional character

And while everyone was talking about that, a rookie, Darryn Peterson, scored twenty-three points for the Jazz. Twenty-three. Him, I would have announced in complete darkness, if the caretaker would let me. Denver took control after halftime, first preseason win. At our place, on the sound system, the separation jingle already exists. It has never been used. Just saying.

It’s true, we checked: Eurohoops.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Seul Dimitri transforme l'accrochage en moment de salle sans juger personne : la présentation des deux joueurs à égalité rend l'article partageable par les deux camps. Martine tient la voix, mais son titre affirme une exclusivité que le noyau ne donne pas. »

ChantalThe Club President

Jokić prend une technique en présaison, Chantal pense à ceux qui rangent la salle

Les Denver Nuggets ont battu le Utah Jazz 117-106 en présaison NBA. Nikola Jokić, triple MVP, a écopé d'une faute technique après avoir repoussé Jaxson Hayes, qui l'avait poussé.

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  • Faithfulness 3/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment Chantal ne convertit rien en image : elle plaint la personne qui range une salle américaine imaginaire, et l'accrochage disparaît du sujet.

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DarnellThe American

Jokić et Hayes s’accrochent en présaison : en Indiana, la mère de Darnell a un avis

Denver a battu Utah 117-106 en présaison NBA, une rencontre très physique selon Eurohoops. Nikola Jokić a reçu une faute technique pour avoir repoussé Jaxson Hayes ; le rookie Darryn Peterson a marqué 23 points pour le Jazz.

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  • Faithfulness 4/5
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  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment L'anecdote du maillot tenu est tendre mais ne fait pas rire, et le « là-bas on regarde l'accrochage, ici on m'a appris » oppose deux pays, ce que la fiche de Darnell interdit.

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