The news that shoots from distance

Sabonis reportedly wants out of Sacramento: Dimitri has the jingle, no announcement

According to BasketNews, Domantas Sabonis, a three-time All-Star, wants to leave the Sacramento Kings. ESPN’s Tim MacMahon calls the situation increasingly difficult; Brian Windhorst adds that the Kings would be ready to trade him, but only if the deal “makes sense”.

Dimitri, headset on, waits at the mic in a dim hall as two spotlights point at an empty chair at center court.

A departure is a moment. An arrival is a moment. So I read BasketNews with my headphones on and the jingle ready. According to them, Domantas Sabonis wants to leave the Sacramento Kings. ESPN’s Tim MacMahon said it straight: “Quite frankly, Sabonis wants out of there, and if they can move him, they would. So he’s not happy. It’s a bad situation.”

Everyone agrees to part ways. Great. I get the announcement ready. The dark, the two school fête spotlights, the two-second pause, and then…

And then nothing. Brian Windhorst adds that Sacramento would be ready to trade him, but that the Kings shouldn’t make a deal just to end it. Any trade has to “make sense”. Can you picture that on the mic? “Mesdames et messieurs, dames en heren, please welcome… a trade that makes sense.” Nobody stands up. Sense is not a moment.

There was even an attempt this summer, according to reports: a sign-and-trade with Detroit for Jalen Duren. MacMahon again: “What the Kings would want is to sign-and-trade for Jalen Duren and send Sabonis to Detroit. But that’s not happening.” Detroit had no interest. I cut the jingle for nothing.

What breaks my heart is that this guy has a proper intro card. He arrived from Indiana in February 2022, in the Tyrese Haliburton trade. And in 2023 he helped Sacramento end sixteen years without playoffs. Sixteen years! That was an entrance in the dark. This season: sixteen points, fifteen point eight rebounds, seven point three assists. He fills every box on my intro card.

A rumour doesn’t go on the scoresheet. A signature does.

Martine · the scorer's table, fictional character

So I’m keeping the card in my inside pocket. The jingle too. The richest league in the world has everything it takes for an announcement, except the announcement. I wait, mic off. Just saying.

It’s true, we checked: BasketNews.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « A est le seul angle où le mot de l'instance (« make sense ») devient une scène vécue et drôle au micro. B est publiable mais moins drôle, C et D se dispersent ou sortent de la voix. »

MartineThe Scorer's Table

Sabonis veut partir, Sacramento veut que ça ait du sens : la table attend la signature

Domantas Sabonis voudrait quitter les Sacramento Kings, selon BasketNews et Tim MacMahon (ESPN). Brian Windhorst affirme que les Kings seraient prêts à l'échanger, à condition que l'échange « ait du sens » pour eux.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
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  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le « à quelle minute on l'écrit » et le « statut inchangé, c'est marqué » sont justes et propres, mais la chute reste sage.

Read this angle →

ChantalThe Club President

Sabonis a changé d’agent et voudrait partir : Chantal, elle, a changé de friterie

Selon BasketNews, Domantas Sabonis voudrait quitter les Sacramento Kings. Il avait engagé Aaron Mintz, de CAA, pendant l'intersaison, un changement qui alimentait déjà les spéculations ; les Kings ne l'échangeraient que si l'échange « a du sens ».

  • Funniness 2/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 3/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 4/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Friterie, minibus, tombola et thermos s'empilent : aucune image ne porte la chute, et le titre promet un parallèle qui retombe à plat.

Read this angle →

DarnellThe American

Sabonis veut quitter Sacramento : la mère de Darnell, en Indiana, se souvient de 2022

Selon BasketNews, Domantas Sabonis voudrait quitter les Sacramento Kings, qui l'avaient obtenu des Indiana Pacers en février 2022 contre Tyrese Haliburton. Brian Windhorst (ESPN) dit que les Kings seraient prêts à l'échanger si l'échange « a du sens ».

  • Funniness 2/5
  • Faithfulness 3/5
  • Voice 2/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le décalage horaire est à l'envers (l'Indiana n'est pas en avance), et le « ici/là-bas » généralise les Américains au lieu de parler de Darnell.

Read this angle →