The news that shoots from distance

Noah Penda’s dunk comes back out off his face: Darnell’s mother looks for a defender

A dunk by Noah Penda, Orlando’s Frenchman, was disallowed against Cleveland: the ball, not yet fully through, hit his face and popped back out briefly before dropping in again. Penda blocked himself, against his will, according to the Belgian broadcaster RTBF.

Darnell on the phone in a community hall, watching a replay in which a dunk's ball touches the dunker's own face.

On Sunday, after dinner, I called my mother in Indiana. She was the one who told me about the game. Orlando against Cleveland. She wanted me to explain it.

So I explained what RTBF reports. Orlando leads by thirteen, second quarter. James Harden throws a pass that is too soft, and Noah Penda intercepts it. Four dribbles, a drive into the paint, a dunk before Cleveland gets back. The ball hits his face before it has gone through the hoop, comes out, goes back in. The referees cancel the two points.

She asked: but why? I read her the rule RTBF quotes: interference when a player stops the ball from passing fully through the hoop, or touches it in the cylinder above. The ball hadn’t finished going through when it met his face. At real speed you can’t see anything; in slow motion it’s fairly clear. That’s all.

In 2000, in Charleroi, in the hall with the badminton lines, I saw a basket nobody ever managed to count. Nobody had a replay. We looked at the referee, he looked at the scorer’s table, and the table looked at its bowl of coffee. The game went on. Here, I learned that what you can’t see at real speed is often settled at the club bar.

Let me tell you: I came for one year. I had never seen a player block himself. Twenty-six years of basketball here and over there, and it’s the NBA that teaches me.

Then my mother asked her question, the same as always: did anyone play defence? I said Cleveland’s defence hadn’t got back yet. Nobody was there.

She thought about it. She said: so the only one who defended was him. See?

It’s true, we checked: RTBF Sport · Basket.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Darnell est le seul à faire arriver le « contré lui-même » par un personnage plutôt que de le recopier, avec un titre que le corps honore. Martine et Dimitri ont de bons moments mais flottent sur l'exactitude ou sur l'arbitre. »

MartineThe Scorer's Table

Un dunk, un visage, un ballon qui ressort et rentre : la table efface deux points

Lors d'un match entre Orlando et Cleveland, un dunk de Noah Penda a été annulé par les arbitres, selon la RTBF. Le ballon, pas encore totalement entré, a rebondi sur son visage avant de ressortir puis de rerentrer.

  • Funniness 3/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment La ligne de feuille finale (« auteur et contreur identiques ») est excellente, mais « l'arceau » touché, les « vingt écrans » et un titre qui fait effacer les points par la table plutôt que par les arbitres fragilisent l'exactitude.

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ChantalThe Club President

Deux points rendus par Orlando après un dunk de Penda : Chantal recompte le panier

Le Magic menait de treize points face à Cleveland, dans le 2e quart-temps, quand un dunk de Noah Penda a été annulé : le ballon a touché son visage avant de traverser entièrement le cercle, selon la RTBF.

  • Funniness 2/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment Le titre promet un recomptage qui n'a jamais lieu, Orlando ne « rend » rien, et les images de salle s'empilent (buvette, thermos, chauffage, chaises) sans conversion unique ni chute.

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DimitriThe Announcer

Dunk de Noah Penda annulé contre Cleveland : Dimitri avait déjà dit le prénom

Noah Penda (Orlando) a intercepté une passe de James Harden puis dunké en contre-attaque face à Cleveland, mais les arbitres ont annulé le panier : le ballon avait rebondi sur son visage avant de traverser le cercle, selon la RTBF.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
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  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le jingle coupé « là où il est » et le « moment qui arrive après le moment » font sourire, mais la scène micro reste hypothétique et le « merci monsieur l'arbitre » frôle le pique à l'arbitre.

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