The news that shoots from distance

Boos, then a shaking roof in Philadelphia: Chantal thinks of who fixes it

Down 29 to Cleveland a minute before half-time, the Philadelphia 76ers won 114-106, their first home win of the season. LeBron James spoke of cheers that “almost blew the roof off”.

Chantal on a stepladder in an empty hall, flashlight and big key in hand, inspects the ceiling while a caretaker holds the ladder, a bucket below.

Philadelphia won 114-106 against Cleveland, after being down twenty-nine points just before half-time. It’s their first home win of the season. That I understand: the first one at home, for us, gets celebrated at the club bar with whatever tokens are left.

What stopped me was LeBron James. He said: “We got the boos. It was incredible. We deserved them. And then we got the cheers that almost blew the roof off the arena. Quite a night.”

The roof. I can’t see the numbers and I already don’t sleep. At our place, the roof of the council sports hall is three raffles and a letter to the council, mind you. When it pours, we put the bucket under the left-hand basket, the adjustable one, and the under-10s know not to shoot at that end.

He says “we”: the boos first, the cheers after. In between, the third quarter, thirty-seven to twenty-one. Then a thirteen-nothing run at the end. I’m not jealous, I’m a club president: a noise like that, at our place, brings the strip lights down.

My 2,000-seat hall had a roof that made noise all by itself. We didn’t need the crowd.

Darnell · the american, fictional character

I’m mostly thinking of the person who goes up the next day to see if everything held. Nobody applauds them. Me, I go up with a torch and the caretaker. I’ve still got the key to the ladder to hand back.

It’s true, we checked: BeBasket.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.