The news that shoots from distance

Donar beat Leuven with a shot from halfway: Darnell’s mother asks why not sooner

Alex Merkviladze, Georgian player for Donar Groningen, scored the winning basket from his own half at the buzzer, an 81-78 win over Leuven Bears on matchday two of the BNXT League.

Darnell on the phone in his kitchen, pensive, beside a tiny tabletop hoop with the ball far from the rim and a wall clock behind him.

Sunday, after dinner, I called my mother in Indiana. I told her about the match on matchday two of the BNXT League (the Belgian-Dutch league): Donar Groningen against Leuven Bears, seventy-eight all with a few seconds left.

She asked what the coach had done. I said I had no idea, that all I knew was that Alex Merkviladze, a Georgian player at Groningen, had decided to try his luck from his own half. At the buzzer. In. Eighty-one to seventy-eight.

There was a silence on the line. My mother usually asks whether anyone played defence. This time she didn’t.

Let me tell you, in 2000, in Charleroi, my first coach banned me from shooting from distance. He said basketball is the pass at the right moment, the box-out, patience. I have spent twenty-five years saying the same thing to my U10s on Sunday mornings. For them, a shot from halfway is the end of practice, when you put the balls away.

I told my mother that Sporza was already calling it one of the highlights of the season, on matchday two. That here, when we win like that, we check first. Then we say “not bad”.

Tell her the Bears played right up to the last second, that counts too, mind you.

Chantal · the club president, fictional character

I told her. The Bears had done their job, level to the end. My mother thought about it.

Then she asked: if he can score from there, why does he wait for the last second?

I had no answer. She said: see?

It’s true, we checked: Sporza.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « D est le seul angle dont la chute retourne vraiment le fait, sans rien inventer, et que Merkviladze comme Louvain partageraient. A est propre mais tiède, C hésite sur le nom du joueur et B invente une scène. »

MartineThe Scorer's Table

Merkviladze marque depuis sa moitié à la sirène : la table n’a eu qu’à noter trois points

Lors de la deuxième journée de BNXT League, Alex Merkviladze a offert la victoire à Donar Groningen contre Leuven Bears (81-78) d'un tir pris depuis sa propre moitié de terrain, entré à la sirène alors que le score était de 78-78.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 3/5
  • Voice 3/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment « Jamais vu une fin de match aussi courte dans une colonne » tient bien, mais « le noyau dit » casse la fiction et l'absence de temps mort est affirmée sans source.

Read this angle →

DimitriThe Announcer

Un tir depuis sa moitié à la sirène pour Donar : Dimitri a déjà coupé le jingle

En deuxième journée de BNXT League, Alex Merkviladze a donné la victoire à Donar Groningen face à Leuven Bears, 81-78, d'un tir pris depuis sa propre moitié de terrain et entré à la sirène alors que le score était de 78-78.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 3/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 4/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le ballon qui arrive avant la bonne piste fait sourire, mais le blanc avant un nom géorgien frôle la moquerie du nom et la chute « je dis ça, je dis rien » retombe.

Read this angle →