The news that shoots from distance

Shaq has seen one game in Europe and called it “wild”, Martine asks for the scoresheet

Shaquille O’Neal, 54 and a four-time NBA champion, arrived in Vilnius on 29 September 2026 as an ambassador for NordVPN. He is due to attend Zalgiris v Olympiacos, round two of the EuroLeague, at the Zalgirio Arena in Kaunas.

Martine at the scorer's table hands a blank match sheet to a visiting guest and points to the signature line.

Shaquille O’Neal landed in Vilnius on Tuesday, gave a press conference, then took the road to Kaunas. On the programme: Zalgiris against Olympiacos, the second round of the EuroLeague regular season.

According to Eurohoops, he has been to only one game in Europe. “I’ve only been at one game in Europe, and it was wild. I’m looking to see how crazy and intense this game gets,” he said. He also thinks the European game is “a little bit better” than the NBA game, and knows he will get criticised for it.

One game. Just the one. He didn’t say which, or the score, or the minute it turned wild. I don’t hold it against him, he hasn’t got a folder. But at our place, a game without a scoresheet didn’t happen. You can talk about it in the club bar, you can’t compare it. Here he’s comparing the whole NBA to a game nobody has a record of. Wild, I don’t know where I put that. It’s not a foul, not a time-out, not a column. Tonight in Kaunas there will be a table. Someone will run the clock, someone will run the shot clock, and at the end the two captains will sign. Then he’ll have seen two games, and the second will be written down somewhere. Noted: game number two, attendance confirmed, sheet to be requested.

Martine · the scorer's table, fictional character

He also said he was looking forward to seeing “my good friend Arvydas Sabonis” and to watching Jonas Valanciunas play. According to Eurohoops, Zalgiris come into the game with momentum after an away win the week before.

It’s true, we checked: Eurohoops.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Martine est la seule à trouver dans le fait un vrai geste de table (ranger un mot qui n'a pas de colonne) et à conclure sur un rituel sans viser personne. Il faut juste couper la phrase qui prête à Shaq une comparaison fondée sur ce seul match. »

ChantalThe Club President

Shaq arrive à Vilnius en ambassadeur, Chantal pense à qui fermera la salle à Kaunas

Shaquille O'Neal est arrivé à Vilnius le 29 septembre 2026 comme ambassadeur de NordVPN. Après une conférence de presse, il file à Kaunas pour Zalgiris – Olympiacos, en EuroLeague.

  • Funniness 2/5
  • Faithfulness 3/5
  • Voice 2/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment Friterie, minibus, chauffeur puis clé : quatre images au lieu d'une, et le « je ne suis pas jalouse » glisse vers la comparaison de moyens.

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DimitriThe Announcer

Shaq attendu à la Zalgirio Arena, Dimitri a déjà préparé le blanc avant le prénom

Shaquille O'Neal, quatre fois champion NBA, doit assister mardi 29 septembre 2026 à Zalgiris – Olympiacos à la Zalgirio Arena de Kaunas, en EuroLeague. Il dit n'avoir vu qu'un seul match en Europe, « wild ».

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  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment La présentation dans la moitié du noir est jolie et le point d'exclamation est unique, mais la chute compare deux salles et deux publics, et « dames en heren » avec « il drachait » fait deux belgicismes.

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