The news that shoots from distance

Clippers name an interim governor, and Dimitri asked for the lights off

The lawyer John Gibson becomes interim governor and CEO of the Los Angeles Clippers. The appointment, proposed by Steve Ballmer, was approved by the NBA, according to Shams Charania (ESPN).

Dimitri holding a mic in a community hall, half the neon lights still on, two spotlights aimed at an empty season-ticket seat.

It takes effect immediately. Gibson oversees the basketball and business operations and will represent the Clippers with the league, including at the owners’ meetings. He has practised law for more than thirty-five years, led the US commercial litigation department at DLA Piper, and has been a season-ticket holder at the club for a long time.

The appointment follows the NBA’s sanctions against the franchise for circumventing the salary cap. Steve Ballmer has been suspended for one year from any activity linked to the league and the team, and said he accepted the decision.

“My focus will be on supporting our people, providing steady leadership, and helping the organization continue moving forward,” Gibson said, quoted by BasketNews.

In Brussels, on a Saturday at half past eight, a sentence like that rarely makes it to the microphone. A long-time season-ticket holder turned governor, on the other hand.

Thirty seconds, that’s all I’m asking. Full darkness, if the caretaker agrees, and the caretaker never agrees, he only switches off half the strip lights. A two-second gap. Mesdames et messieurs, dames en heren, a season-ticket holder for years, and from tonight your interim governor, John Gibson! [jingle] A bloke from the stands who’s going to sit down at the owners’ meeting, that is an entrance. Over there, they put out two sentences about supporting our people. Two sentences. My sound system would have had an opinion. Make some noise anyway. Just saying.

Dimitri · the announcer, fictional character

It’s true, we checked: Basket USA.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

ChantalThe Club President

Un abonné des Clippers devient gouverneur intérimaire, Chantal a sorti la clé

Les Los Angeles Clippers ont nommé l'avocat John Gibson gouverneur et CEO intérimaire, avec effet immédiat. Il supervisera les activités sportives et commerciales de la franchise et la représentera auprès des instances de la NBA.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment « L'abonné qui finit par tout tenir, c'est la définition d'une présidente » est une belle idée, mais la chute glisse vers l'attendrissement sur les chaises, et la réplique la plus drôle (« intérimaire, le mot le plus optimiste du basket ») est chez Darnell, pas chez Chantal.

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MartineThe Scorer's Table

Un intérimaire représentera les Clippers devant la NBA, Martine demande qui signe

L'avocat John Gibson est gouverneur et CEO intérimaire des Los Angeles Clippers, avec effet immédiat. Abonné de longue date du club, il a exercé plus de trente-cinq ans comme avocat et dirigé le contentieux commercial américain du cabinet DLA Piper.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment La question « qui signe » est bien tenue jusqu'à la case du délégué, mais c'est un constat plus qu'un rire, et Martine est en rotation à éviter comme principal.

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